What does TBF stand for?
TBF means “to be fair” on social media and in text messages. It’s used to preface statements or opinions—particularly when you want to offer a new perspective or add extra context to a conversation. You may also see people use it to try and add balance to an argument or create a more fair-minded perspective about something. “I get where you’re coming from but tbf I think we should consider everyone else’s needs too!” “I know the project doesn’t look finished but tbf I’ve only had a couple of hours to work on it.” Remember: TBF always means “To be fair,” whether you see it in a comment from a total stranger or a private message from a girl (or guy) you like.
How to Use TBF
Weigh different sides of an argument. When you want to show someone in a dispute that you’re trying to be fair-minded and consider every side of the situation, you can begin a statement with “tbf.” Then, you can follow up with your counterargument (or your balanced opinion on the different arguments being made). For example: Them: “I can’t believe you’re taking his side!” You: “I’m not taking sides, and tbf I think you both have valid points. Could you try talking things out together?”
Offer a new, alternative perspective on a situation. When someone expresses their outlook on a situation, you can use TBF to show them a different outlook they might not have considered yet. This can help you have a more balanced and nuanced conversation about a particular issue. For example: Them: “That manager was so rude!” You: “Maybe, but tbf you did break the arcade’s rules. She was probably just doing her job.”
Add details that could change someone’s understanding of a statement. Say you’re discussing an issue with someone and notice they don’t have all the facts. In that case, you can use “tbf” to add information to the discussion that might be helpful for the other person to know (especially if it might shift their perspective of the topic). For example: Them: “I thought it was super unfair that Alex went home from work early.” You: “Tbf she told me she had a pretty important family event to go to.”
How to Respond to TBF
Acknowledge the other person’s fairness (even if you disagree). If you can tell that someone is trying to weigh both sides of an argument and take a more balanced approach, it’s worth acknowledging that rather than getting upset or frustrated at them. Let them know you appreciate their fair-mindedness before offering your own respectful take on the argument. Them: “Tbf I can see why you’d think that, but I disagree.” You: “I understand—glad you can see things from my perspective, at least. Let’s agree to disagree, yeah?”
Consider the alternative perspective being presented. When someone presents a different perspective from the one you initially gave them, the polite thing to do is hear them out with an open mind. You don’t have to agree—but you might find that their new perspective makes just as much sense as yours! For example: Them: “Tbf you did break the arcade’s rules. She was probably just doing her job.” You: “Yeah, that makes sense. I guess I just wasn’t expecting her to react so harshly.”
Thank the other person for giving you more information or context. Whether or not your perspective changes when you get new information from someone, it’s always nice to be kept in the loop—so let them know you appreciate the update. After all, the more informed your outlook on a situation is, the more informed your opinions can be. Them: “Tbf Alex told me she had a pretty important family event to go to.” You: “Oh! Didn’t know that. In that case, yeah, I understand why she had to leave early!”
History of TBF
TBF became a popular acronym in the early to mid-2000s. The phrase “To be fair” was shortened to “TBF” in the 1990s and 2000s, as internet chatrooms and instant messages became more and more common, with people using it to type out their thoughts faster. Urban Dictionary’s first definition for TBF (“to be fair”) was established in 2005. Since then, it’s become a common acronym all over the internet—especially on messaging apps like Discord and social media sites like Twitter and Reddit.
TBF vs TBH
“TBF” means “to be fair” and “TBH” means “to be honest.” At first glance, they look fairly alike—but “TBH” is often used to give your honest opinion about something (even if it’s controversial or negative), whereas “TBF” is more about weighing both sides of an argument or offering a fair-minded, alternative perspective about an issue. For example, say a group of people are discussing whether Mac or PC computers are the better choice. Someone trying to be fair-minded might say, “TBF Macs are super user-friendly while PCs are really customizable, so it’s all about personal preference.” Someone with an honest opinion might say, “TBH I just don’t see the point of Macs. Never had a problem with my PC!”
Alternate Meanings of TBF
To be frank Although “to be fair” is the most common and widely accepted version of the acronym, some people use “tbf” to say “to be frank” instead. “To be frank” is a lot like “to be honest”; it’s essentially a way of saying you’re about to speak frankly and give your honest, unfiltered opinion about something. “Tbf I don’t really like hanging out with them.” “Eh, tbf I think card games are kinda lame.” You can usually tell if someone means “To be frank” (as opposed to “To be fair”) if the statement that follows is a direct and possibly negative opinion, as opposed to a more balanced perspective.
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