Creating an Authoritative Look
Know and accept your actual authority. While there can be benefits to appearing authoritative in excess of your actual authority, the focus in this article is on enhancing the appearance to match the reality of your authority. To do so, especially in a business setting, it is important that you are clear on exactly what authority you do possess. If your powers and responsibilities have not been clearly defined, discuss the particulars of your authority with your boss. Having things specifically laid out for you may make it easier for you to accept and represent this authority. Another benefit of conferring regularly with your boss is making sure that you are on the same page. Making a decision, only to be quickly contradicted or overruled by your supervisor, tends to diminish your appearance of authority.
Focus on the goal, not popularity. While Machiavelli's advice that it is better to be feared than loved may be a bit extreme for a workplace setting, it is true that strong leaders tend not to worry too much about the popularity of their decisions. Having authority is not easy or fun; it is often hard work, but work that needs to be done — by you. Nobody wants to be hated, of course, but you’ll probably find that being direct, making the tough decisions, and doing what must be done will earn the respect of others. If you focus too much on trying to please everyone, you’re likely to sacrifice respect for the sake of some superficial likeability. Deep down, most people would probably rather follow someone they respect than someone they like.
Stop undermining yourself. Some of the things you do to demonstrate your authority may actually be making you appear weaker. If you seem to be trying too hard to “show who’s boss,” you’re more likely to be mocked than respected. Unless you’re a drill sergeant, getting angry and shouting are not usually the best ways to demonstrate your authority. Likewise, appearing defensive when questioned or challenged tends to indicate weakness, not strength. Some people think being authoritative means making snap decisions and sticking with them no matter what. In reality, taking the time (whenever possible) to think through a problem and making a calm, reasoned decision — and then sticking to it — demonstrates secure authority. To convince others of your authority, you have to convince yourself first. Once you embrace the authority you know you have, you won’t feel the need to try so hard to prove it to other people. Your confidence will speak for you.
Dress with authority. You may assume that donning a “power suit” or otherwise over-dressing for an occasion is the best way to appear authoritative. Quite often, however, this will be taken by others as another case of trying too hard. To appear authoritative, you want to act like you “have it all together,” and by the same token you should look “put together.” Choose a style of dress that generally approximates what those around you will be wearing, but with extra emphasis on a crisp, clean look. If “dress casual” is the norm, emphasize the “dress” part without abandoning the “casual.” Your wardrobe need not be bland, but a more subdued color palette and styling may give you a bit more gravitas.
Get on your feet. To appear authoritative, you have to be noticed, and standing almost always makes you more noticeable. Standing makes it easier for you to command the spotlight, the stage, and the attention of those under your leadership. If you are looking for a way to gain more authority by appearing more authoritative at work, you may want to try standing at a meeting while others are sitting. This makes you more noticeable and commanding in appearance. See if you can arrive at the perfect time so that you aren’t late but there are no seats left. Stand even while you’re talking on the phone. When you sit, you tend to talk in a more reserved, less enthusiastic (and commanding) voice. Standing tends to make you speak with more energy and urgency.
Communicating with Authority
Face people and make eye contact. Your mother may have told you it was good manners to look other people in the eyes while speaking to them, but it also helps attach an additional air of confidence to your words. Like an animal asserting authority in the wild, stand tall and directly face those whom you intend to lead. If you are giving a presentation, for example, assume the “power position” at the start — stand in front of the podium, directly facing the audience and making eye contact throughout the room. If you are going through slides, don’t get caught facing the screen or standing perpendicular to both screen and audience the whole time. Face the people and look at them whenever possible. You don’t need to intensely stare at someone while speaking to him/her. But return your gaze regularly to the person, and try not to look down at all while talking.
Talk in a deep, steady voice and finish each sentence. Being confident and sounding confident are not always one and the same. Some people may be bursting with confidence in their authority, and yet the way they speak gives away this entire advantage. Once you feel authoritative, make sure you sound that way as well. Don’t go to ridiculous lengths to deepen your voice, but adding just a bit more depth can help make what you say sound more authoritative. Practice not allowing your voice to trail off at the end of a sentence. Some people tend to raise their voice inflection at the end of every sentence, making even declarative statements sound like questions. Don’t let it seem like you doubt what you’re saying.
Make use of silence. Some people feel like silence is a sign of weakness, and want to fill any gaps by talking. Prattling on, however, is more likely to be taken as a lack of seriousness or certainty. Taking time to think through what you want to say, and using pauses and silence for effect while speaking, helps to bestow authority to your speech. Always think through what you want to say before speaking. Even when you’re “on the spot,” take a couple seconds to gather your thoughts before you begin. That small period of silence will demonstrate that you are serious about addressing the topic at hand and saying exactly what you mean. Practice getting rid of “fillers” like “um,” “uh,” “I think,” etc. Even if you aren’t using them because you’re uncertain of what you want to say, they tend to sound that way. A silent pause is preferable. Use “chunking” while speaking — pause for effect between bursts of speech that each emphasize a key point. Give people a chance to soak in what you are saying.
Claim the stage. Making eye contact and facing the audience have already been mentioned in this article, but there are additional steps you can take to demonstrate command of the room when you are addressing a group of people. You want all eyes on you as much as possible. Walk around the stage or the part of the room you are occupying, as if you are marking it as your territory. You don’t need to stalk it like an animal, but walk and stand with confidence — as mentioned, it will be reflected in your voice. Don’t be afraid of hand gestures either. Keeping your hands glued to the podium or clasped together may appear like fear or submission. No one needs to see you pound your shoe on the desk or anything of that sort, but some confident, deliberate gesturing will add weight to your words and your appearance.
Practice your authoritative voice. In addition to adding some depth to your voice, finishing off sentences properly, and eliminating “fillers,” you can also work to perfect the tone and pace of your speaking. Speaking too quickly, too softly, or without enthusiasm can all be remedied with practice, and give your words more authority in the process. You might feel silly reciting famous speeches from Shakespeare’s works in your bathroom mirror, but doing so can in fact be helpful. Think of yourself as a great actor on the stage, tackling Hamlet or Macbeth. Speaking with authority will come naturally. More practically, you can practice the speech you’re going to give in a similar manner. Take note of your tone, pacing, volume, gesturing, and so on. Consider recording yourself so you can examine your practice run.
Building Confidence in Your Authoritative Self
Embrace the power of self-confidence. All your efforts to appear more authoritative will likely fall short if you lack essential self-confidence. You have to believe you can wield authority, and deserve to have it, in order to express and use it effectively. While it is true that some people are naturally more confident than others, self-confidence is also a perspective that can be nurtured and developed. How to Build Self Confidence offers an extensive list of ideas for becoming a more confident person. Its major subjects include: Establishing a positive attitude. Dealing with your emotions effectively. Taking care of yourself — mind, body, and spirit. Setting your goals. Getting help when you need it.
Focus on your positives. People with low self-confidence tend to compare themselves to unrealistic idealizations of others, and thereby find themselves always coming up short. Instead of holding yourself to impossible standards and focusing on your failures, work on training yourself to emphasize your successes. Focus on why you deserve to have authority. Keep an updated list of personal accomplishments and positive attributes if that helps. Take note of compliments and positive feedback from others (and take them seriously). Surround yourself with positive reinforcement.
Look the part. Looking authoritative and looking confident have many similarities, but you can’t really master the former without first nailing the latter. It may seem naive to think that looking confident can make you feel more confident, and yet it is true for many people. Practice good posture. Take your personal grooming and dressing routines seriously. Look in the mirror and see a confident person staring back at you.
Face your fears. People who lack confidence avoid or run away from their fears; they try not to depart their comfort zones. Self-confident people learn to swim by jumping in the water, or deal with a fear of heights by skydiving. Get out of your comfort zone, and when you achieve success doing so, use it as evidence in your confidence-building process. Identify your goals, and establish a way to address them head-on. If you are afraid to speak up at meetings, draw up a list of potential questions or comments beforehand, and make yourself use at least one of them.
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