From playing the scary ghost in Stree to entertaining the audience with her bold role in Gandii Baat, Flora Saini has always tried to make the most of the roles that come her way. The actress, who comes from an army background, has proven her acting skills in over 50 films. Not only in Bollywood, but the actress has starred in Tollywood, and a number of Kannada and Tamil films too.
While Flora takes pride in the work she has done, the actress gets chills when she recalls the darkest phases of her life. Recently, in a no holds barred conversation, Flora spoke to News18 about domestic violence and sexual harassment she suffered in 2007 at the hands of her ex-boyfriend Gaurang Doshi. She first spoke up about it in public in 2018, when the #MeToo movement began. She also talked about the gruesome murder of Shraddha Walkar, the 26-year-old woman who was brutally killed by Aftab Poonawala in Delhi.
How the domestic violence started
I used to stay in Bombay with mom, but I left home because he (ex-BF) wanted me to prove my love for him. I left my home because of him, at the time when my mom had said not to leave the house and neglect my work, but I didn’t listen to her. He was so sweet in the beginning. So good that my parents were also fooled that he is such a nice guy. But slowly, your parents see the red flags. In Shraddha’s case as well, the same happened. They first cut you out from your family. I also left my home, and within a week of moving in with him, I was being bashed up. I couldn’t understand why he was beating me up suddenly, because in my eyes he was a really nice guy.
I’d left home for him out of stubbornness. My parents also told me not to leave. I couldn’t even go back because I willingly left my home. He also took my phone away so that I couldn’t call anyone. Even if he used to bash me up, I thought it was my fault. He twisted things around in such a way that he used to blame me for saying something, and he hit me in response to that.
One night I told him that my parents have never hit me and I’m leaving the house we were staying in. I packed my stuff and I reached the lift, he came to the lift and warned me that he would count till 10 and if I didn’t get back he would kill my parents and me. And he would make sure that I won’t reach home.
How to identify a toxic relationship
One very important thing that I want every girl needs to know about identifying a toxic relationship is that they will cut you off from your family, best friend and everyone so that you don’t find support outside. They would cut your ties with everyone so that you won’t even have the courage to face anyone and tell them that you need help. Second, they will kill your self-esteem. They would do emotional blackmail and make you feel low about yourself. Being a fat kid, I was already dealing with insecurities about my body. He butchered it to another level.
The horrible night when she left everything to save her life
One night, he’d beaten me so much that I had a fractured jaw. He took his father’s picture and warned me saying I swear on my father that I will kill you tonight. When he turned back to keep the photo frame back, in that fraction of a second, my mom’s voice echoed in my ears that at such a moment you will have to run – Bas bhaag, mat soch ki kapde pehne hai ya nahi, paise hain ya nahi, bas bhaag (run and don’t think if you have clothes on or not, If you have the money or not, run for your life). (Holds back tears) I ran to my home and I decided that I’m never going back. The next morning, my family went with me to the police station to file a complaint against him. They refused to file my complaint, and they were talking to him on phone and telling him that I’d come to file a complaint. At the end of the day, they took a handwritten complaint.
One thing that girls should take as a lesson from Shraddha Walkar and Flora’s case
My lesson has been – listen to your heart. The red flags that we ignore, that is God talking to you, your spirit guide or that is your good sense talking to you. These red flags are not coming to you unnecessarily. And the first time that somebody calls you a b***h or hits you, instead of staying mum, and going back home and thinking how did he say this to me – you need to seek help.
We also need to be aware of emotional abuse, which is gaslighting and ghosting. If someone is dating you and tells you that you look bad, we forget 100 compliments but we will remember one negative comment on our appearance. Don’t try to please the abusers. And I believe every time someone gaslights you, or ghosts you – these minute emotional abuses need to be identified. Find yourself company of good friends or a lover that respects you. The longer you choose to stay in an abusive relationship, you are denying yourself a good man or a good woman.
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