Thank You Putin for S-400 but We are More Interested in Katrina Kaif Lehenga, Vicky Kaushal Sherwani

If it were a film then it would be called ‘Namastey London 2’. Punjabi ‘munda’ who proudly says his home is like a mini Hoshiarpur meets English ‘mem’ who has kissed many frogs. Munda and mem fall in unlikely love, have a grand destination wedding and live happily ever after in a mini Hoshiarpur of their own. The heroine can remain the same, the ageless and beauteous Katrina Kaif, in a twist on ageing heroes and ingénue heroines. The hero? Who better than the young and dashing Vicky Kaushal, rising star and National Award-winning actor, son of stuntman-turned-action-choreographer Sham Kaushal?

In an industry where A-list actresses routinely marry A-list actors, the Vicky-Kat union is yet another welcome addition. Regardless of their imperfect portmanteau ‘VicKat’ (or is it ‘VicTrina’?), the two are beloved stars. Katrina, who made her debut with Kaizad Gustad’s ‘Boom’ in 2003, has been part of some of the biggest hits of Bollywood and even if she hasn’t exactly excelled as an actor, her dances, from ‘Sheila ki Jawani’ in ‘Tees Maar Khan’ (2010), to ‘Chikni Chameli’ in ‘Agneepath’ (2012), have earned a permanent place in people’s hearts. Vicky, since his stunning lead debut in the sensitive ‘Masaan’ (2015), has moved easily from being the darling of indie cinema to becoming a mainstream star with the surprise hit ‘Uri: The Surgical Strike’ and this year’s searing ‘Sardar Udham’.

It’s no secret that famous people like other famous people. Marriages in Bollywood have become like mergers and acquisitions since 2007 when Abhishek Bachchan, son of one of India’s greatest stars, wed Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, generally described as one of the world’s most beautiful women. Since then, there have been many versions of ‘Abhiash’, from ‘Saifeena’ to ‘Virushka’ to ‘DeepVeer’ to ‘Nickyanka’. One long-running romance, Ranbir Kapoor and Alia Bhatt, hasn’t got a proper portmanteau yet, but looks like it is headed for a wedding too. Though when that happens is as great a mystery as when their movie, ‘Brahmastra’, in the making since February 2018, releases.

Live Updates: Katrina Kaif and Vicky Kaushal Wedding Festivities In Rajasthan

Two for the price of one works very well in Bollywood. It’s more expensive but double the value in the case of advertisements starring the couple. Ditto for any candid photographs. And gold for anyone looking for a potential casting coup in an industry where movies are still largely designed on excel sheets.

The ‘VicKat’ union provides a variety of ancillary entertainment. There are memes of Salman Khan at their wedding. There is a guessing game around the wedding guests. There are paparazzi shots of Katrina’s seven siblings. Then there are the actual wedding details. Four-hundred specially ordered herbal mehndi cones. The NDAs signed by all guests. The size of the rooms at Six Senses, Fort Barwara, Sawai Madhopur. The Indian rituals followed by the white wedding. The song the couple will perform at their sangeet—‘Teri Ore’ from the 2008 hit ‘Singh is Kinng’ (you’re welcome in case you didn’t know).

From all appearances, the union is the result of Karan Johar playing cupid on his Koffee with Karan couch, relaying to Vicky what Katrina had said about them looking good together. Yes, that is how famous people date. They either need other famous people to set it up or declare a crush on national television. In fact, Johar is a sort of human Tinder for Bollywood’s pretty people—he’s had Alia Bhatt declare her love for Ranbir Kapoor on his couch and got Sara Ali Khan to briefly date Kartik Aaryan before falling out with the latter, or is it both?

Bollywood weddings are not merely brand building exercises for the actors. Katrina has already shown she is a smart businesswoman with her investment in Nykaa called Kay Beauty. She has a recurring role in the ‘Tiger’ franchise with one-time boyfriend Salman Khan and is experimenting with a new generation of actors Siddhant Chaturvedi and Ishaan Khatter in the forthcoming horror comedy ‘Phone Booth’.

And in the post-Sushant Singh Rajput era, it is important for Bollywood to support two self-made stars. Both came from nothing and have got to the top of their game through sheer hard work and persistence. Katrina comes from a family which appreciates wealth and knows its value. She has often spoken proudly of her mother Susanna Turcotte’s work with unwanted babies and disadvantaged children in Tamil Nadu. She is also an artist and photographer and sells her work online. One of Katrina’s sisters, Melissa, is a mathematician trained at Imperial College, London, another, Isabelle, with whom she lives, is an actress currently filming ‘Kwatha’ co-staring Salman Khan’s brother-in-law Aayush Sharma. Vicky, who trained to be an engineer, has a brother, Sunny, also an actor.

Marriages, our own and those of others, are a national obsession in India. When a Disney princess marries a handsome desi dude who wears his heart on his sleeve, unlike her previous secretive boyfriends, then even more so. Comrade-Czar Putin, thank you for your S-400 missile system, but we’re more interested in the bride’s ‘lehenga’ and the groom’s ‘sherwani’. Better luck next time.

The author is a senior journalist and former editor of India Today magazine. The views expressed in this article are those of the writer and do not represent the stand of this publication.

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