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But how exactly should you approach asking it? Here are some ideas on what to say to make sure she says, “Yes!” And later, at the altar, “I do.”
Jot Down Your Thoughts
Plan out what you should say. When you were in high school English, remember how your teacher would ask you to brainstorm your ideas by jotting them down ahead of writing an essay?Well, this is no different, as a proposal may be the most important essay you’ll ever craft.
There’s a few ways to go about this. You can grab a notebook and jot down your thoughts in a stream-of-consciousness style, focusing on how much you love this person and what you’d like them to know about how you feel about them. You could also do this on your Notes app, or even on a voice memo app if writing isn’t your thing. No matter how you brainstorm, gathering your ideas is integral to nailing a memorable and romantic proposal. Don’t worry too much about delivering an organized play-by-play, just make sure you have mental bullet points of what to say when the time comes. Examples: “I love how she always smells like ____…" “The cute way she eats [_____], savoring each bite…” “How well she took care of me when [_________]…”
Speak from the Heart
If all else fails, speaking from the heart is definitely the way to go. You don’t want to sound rehearsed or like someone else, even if deferring to 18th-century poetry does feel appropriate for the occasion. Stick to your authentic self, which is exactly who your future fiancée fell in love with.
If you get emotional in the process– even better! Your partner will likely get choked up, too. Your shared vulnerability can only enhance this precious, once-in-a-lifetime moment, so don’t be afraid of surrendering to those feelings of nervousness, excitement, and tenderness. After all, a love like yours is a rare thing indeed! Examples: “You know I’m not the best with words, but__________.” “Before you, nobody had ever made me feel like _________.” “You inspire me every day to_____________.”
Take a Walk Down Memory Lane
Reminiscing on the past seems like the natural next step in your proposal. Looking back together at those sweet and pivotal moments in your relationship when you began to realize that this had lifelong potential is a great way to start clueing your partner in to your intentions.
Where did you meet? Or go on your first date? When did you realize your partner was “the one”? Was it the first time they made you a homecooked meal, a lasagna bubbling over with mozzarella? Or maybe it was on your first weekend getaway, when you saw the cherry blossoms bloom in Washington D.C. All of these answers will add that personal and thoughtful touch to your proposal, leaving zero doubt in your partner’s mind that you belong together… forever. Examples: “The trip we took to ____ to see the ________” “Remember how we ate at ______ on our first date and you hated the _____?” “I’ll never forget what you wore that day..."
List the Reasons Why You Love Them
Maybe it’s because they treat every person they meet with kindness and respect. Maybe it’s because they love to learn, or make beautiful art. Maybe it’s because of their one crooked tooth, which really makes for a stellar and unique smile. Whatever your reasons, this is a great time to list as many of them as you deem fit so that your partner can partner can understand how highly you think of them.
This isn’t about showering them with compliments. Instead, this is about letting your significant other know with thoughtful consideration exactly why it is that you want to marry them. Spoilers: this could lead to a lifetime of happiness. Examples: “I love the way you ________.” “You’ve shown me the meaning of unconditional love by _______.” “You’re the only person who ________…”
Look Toward the Future
You’ve spoken from the heart, reflected on the past, and told them all the reasons why they’re your main squeeze. Now it’s time to look ahead, and to share your vision of a future together. Whether it’s children, travel, or building an empire, reaffirm that building a future together is the ultimate goal.
Where do you see yourself in five years? 10? 50? Old and gray, with a house full of grandkids? Or on a fabulous, post-retirement transatlantic cruise? Come what may– sickness, health, that sort of thing– make sure your partner knows you want to do it all with them. And how to funnel that promising future into the potential present? Start by getting down on one knee. Examples: “Whatever the future holds, all I know is want you in it…” “I love imagining you as the mother of my children…” “I know we can weather any storm that comes our way…”
Pop the Question
Get down on one knee if you’re not already there. Prefaced by all of the aforementioned declarations of love and intention, go ahead and utter the four little words that all of this has been leading up to: “Will you marry me?” Some believe this is the most important question you will ever ask, followed by the most important answer you will ever receive.
However, if you’ve gotten to this point, you’ve definitely done the leg-work– pun intended. So, say everything we’ve practiced, present the diamond, and voila!
Proposal Template
Fill in the blanks for a romantic, yet customized experience. "I love you so much, [insert full name, unique pet name, etc].When we first met, I thought [insert personal, unique detail based on brainstorming session]. The time you [insert unique detail(s) discussing a past event(s)] made me realize that I wanted to be with you forever. You are so [insert thoughtful compliment] and [insert thoughtful compliment]. I am so thankful for [insert thoughtful compliments that demonstrate how they’ve improved your life]. Although we never know what the future brings, all that matters is that you’re in it. I can’t wait to [insert wish/hope about future] with you, and the thought of [insert another wish/hope about the future] makes me so excited for what’s to come. I know that together we could [insert example of things you could overcome/challenges you might face]. But I know we won’t even break a sweat because we’ll have each other… for what I hope to be forever. [Repeat name] [Insert some variation of “Will you marry me?”] Options for variations include: 1) “Will you make me the happiest man in the world by marrying me?" 2) "Will you do me the honor of being my wife?" 3)"Will you be my wife?” No matter which way you ask it, after all this thoughtful preparation—how could anyone say no?
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