- Plan your route and ways to get past pets. Go to bed dressed so you’re prepared, then contact your friends and leave a fake “you” before sneaking out.
- Throw off suspicions by using the bathroom before sneaking out. Step lightly, be quiet, leave the door unlocked, and be extra careful around squeaky doors.
- Prepare an alibi if you get caught, and make sure there’s no evidence of what you did—both around the house and online.
Preparing to Sneak
Plan your get-away route. Before you find yourself in the middle of your squeaky staircase with your mom's Pomeranian nipping at your heels, you need to think of the obstacles between you and a night of freedom. Where are your house's loud spots? What are your parents habits? Is there any chance your dad will hop up for a midnight bowl of ice cream and Leno at the exact moment you're trying to sneak out? Before you sneak out, consider: Your parents' bedtime and sleep habits Your travel plan What to blend in with, and how to blend in Where you'll meet up with your friends Your route out of the house Your route out of the neighborhood Animals Back-up plans and excuses
Go to bed dressed. Giving some thought to your clothes ahead of time can save you some grief later. Say your parents wake up and you come in wearing your party clothes. Oops. It'll be hard to pawn off a "Oh, I just went for a walk" excuse. Anticipate the worst case scenario and prepare for it. Wear bedclothes over your regular clothes. Make sure your parents see that you're dressed for sleeping. Take off your bedclothes when you get outside. Stash them somewhere close-by, or in your car, or stuff them somewhere your parents won't look, like the mailbox. Before you sneak back in, change your clothes. If your parents happen to be up, or awaken when you enter, you'll be able to use a quick-excuse more easily if it looks like you've been sleeping recently. If you are just sneaking out to hang with friends, and have no specific clothing to wear, consider where you will be, and how to blend in. Although many people think black is a good color, it is not. Black - As mentioned above, this is not a wise choice for camouflage, as most shadows are not black. Dark blues or purples - A better choice for blending in. Most shadows tend to be darker shades of blue and/or purple. Green - A good option for blending in with trees, bushes, and weeds. Sand/khaki - Better for staying hidden in sandy environments. Grey - A good choice of camouflage for rocky terrains. Brown - Better for woody areas. Not necessarily for hiding in trees, but for areas where the trees have barely any leaves on the lowers parts of the trunk.
Assemble your crew. Presumably you're sneaking out to meet up with friends, head to a party, or hang with your sweetheart. Make sure your plans are the same and you're not going to sneak out and find yourself alone. Keep up via text or IM and plan a convenient meeting place for everyone. Make sure that the location you pick isn't somewhere you're going to get caught. If a snoopy neighbor sees a bunch of pre-teens congregating in the Pizza Hut parking lot and recognizes your friend, you might be one step closer to getting caught. Think like a ninja. Aim for dark areas, or try to get picked up in a car far a couple blocks away from where you live. Stay out of sight and you won't get caught.
Plan for pets. If you have a dog or excitable cats, or even birds that get to chirping when you're around, how are you going to negotiate them? Dogs in particular are a problem because they have super-ears and noses. It's very difficult to get past a dog, even one who's sound asleep. Consider coming up with a good excuse for the dog to sleep in your parents room, or another distant wing of the house where you won't be sneaking through: "Buster keeps crawling up on my bed and bothering me in the night. Do you care if I close him in your room tonight? I don't like closing my door, because it creeps me out."
Create a fake you. In "Escape from Alcatraz," Clint Eastwood makes a great-looking fake head. While you probably don't need to take it that far, it's a good idea to stuff some clothes or blankets under your covers to make it look like you're right there, sawing logs. You'll be better off if your mom decides to check up on you in the night.
Sneaking Out
Try the bathroom fake-out. A good method when you're first sneaking out is to hit up the bathroom and use it as you normally would. Flush the toilet, run the water, and shuffle back and forth to the bathroom as if you were just doing your thing. Then make a break for it, slowly. If someone hears something, they'll next hear your bathroom routine and drift slowly back to sleep. It's a familiar sound. Then they'll be comfortably sleeping by the time you're at the back door. Just don't overdo this step. If a parent heard the toilet flush and you walking back and forth every 5 seconds, they might come to check up on you.
Step lightly and be as quiet as possible. Take your shoes off and get your sneak on. In general, you'll want to move extremely slowly through your house, especially if you have to sneak past your parents for any reason, or deal with any excitable pets who'll make a big commotion. In general, leave the lights off. If you've got to negotiate a particularly cluttered room, or one with lots of edgy furniture, you might consider flipping it on for a second to get your bearings. As long as it isn't visible from your parents' room, you'll be fine. Get the layout, then shut them back off.
Be extra cautious around squeaky floorboards and doors. For floorboards, pause as soon as you hear a significant squeak. They're hard to avoid, but a single squeak every thirty seconds won't rouse anyone. As for the door, it's usually best to do more like ripping off a Band-Aid. Don't let it squeak eternally, open it only as far as needed to squeeze out and close it almost all the way. Turn it to pull back the lock and push it slowly and gently into place. Then release the handle. Continue being quiet as you walk around the outside, being especially wary of gravel. If you're driving, you need to be extra cautious. Back your car out of the driveway in neutral and wait to start it until you're somewhere up or down the street. Leave your door open a crack until you get your car started. In the middle of the night, car sounds carry.
Leave the door unlocked and take an extra key. The easiest way to get back in will be by leaving the door unlocked and slipping back in without having to use keys. If, by some chance, one of your parents gets up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water and checks the doors, you might find yourself locked out if you don't have a key. Leaving windows open can be somewhat sticky, as the noise is conspicuous. You might consider unlocking one as an emergency, if you don't have access to a key. Crawling in through a window without making any noise is a difficult proposition, though.
Have your fun and then sneak back in. It's very unlikely you will get caught sneaking out in the first place, however, sneaking IN is a whole different story. Use extreme caution when you're returning to your house, especially if you have a dog. Survey the house before you enter. Are any lights on? Do people seem to be up? If the answer is yes, start getting an airtight alibi together, or booking a trip to Mexico. Slip back into your pajamas to give any possible alibis more credibility. If you try to say that you just went out for a walk, it'll be more believable.
If you arouse suspicion, give it up. If you make it as far as the kitchen before your dad comes bounding in demanding to know what you're doing, it's probably best to take your loss and give it up. Make an easy excuse, like: "Just getting water. I'm tired. Goodnight." It might be tempting to try to out-wait him, but you're asking for more trouble that way. Save it for another night.
Covering Your Tracks
Prepare an alibi. Worst case scenario: You step back in the house at 4am and your parents are both awake, sitting up and looking angry. What are you going to say? Some possibilities: "Steve called because he needed to be picked up from a party and was really upset. He's going through some stuff. I didn't want to wake you guys up, but I just wanted to do the right thing. Sorry." "I couldn't sleep, so I texted Amy and we just took a walk around the neighborhood and got to talking. She's kind of upset, so I didn't feel like I could ditch her. I think I'm going to make some warm milk. I'm exhausted." "It's such a nice night, I went out to look at the stars. Guess I fell asleep." Alternatively, you could just own up to it and take your licks: "I met up with some friends. We just hung out for a while. I'm sorry. I won't do it again." Avoid stupid excuses like, "I don't know what happened, I just woke up here!" Far-fetched excuses won't get you anywhere. Your parents are not dumb.
Think of worst-case-scenarios. What if you get to the meeting place and nobody is there? What if you end up walking several miles and need to be picked up after getting ditched? What if you get picked up by the cops for a broken curfew? These aren't things meant to scare you, but you need to think ahead of time about what you might do if you end up in a tight spot because you're better safe than sorry. That way, you'll be able to relax and have fun. Do you have older cousins to call, or could you get away with calling a friend's parents? Think about your options and clear it with them ahead of time. Let them know you might need them before you find yourself outside and in need of a favor.
Delete the evidence. If your parents get suspicious and want to check up on what you did last night, make sure that according to your phone you were in bed when they thought you were. Delete relevant texts, photos, and other information that might incriminate your night out. Don't text about it, don't tweet about it, don't update your social media accounts with, "Snuck out last night!!1!" Mum's the word.
Put things back as they were. Once you're in and safe, make sure you straighten everything to basically the same place where it originally was. Especially if your parents are very tidy people, you'll want to make sure you don't leave your shoes or keys in a conspicuous place where they'll notice them.
Wake up as you normally would. If you spend all night cavorting around, it might raise suspicion if you need to sleep until 2 in the afternoon. Set your alarm for the late-side of a regular wake-up time and try to get as much sleep as possible. Take a nap later in the day to catch up if you must.
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