How to Romantically Hug a Guy

Hugging Hello and Goodbye

Smile and look him in the eyes first. A hug shouldn’t come out of nowhere. Give him friendly, flirty physical cues to let him know that you care and you want to be close to him.

Wrap your arms around him. Where you put your arms is up to you and depends on his height, your height, and each of your personal hugging preferences. You might want to try working in some casual caresses if it feels appropriate. You can put both arms around his neck and keep one palm gently on the nape of his neck. If your arms are around his neck, run your fingers softly through the hair at the base of his neck. If your arms are around his torso, rub his back gently. A behind-the-back hug can also be a good way to hug a guy hello. This sort of hug says, “you are mine,” so it should be reserved for someone you’re already close to. Slip your hands under his arms from behind, and reach up to hold his shoulders tightly, pressing yourself against him. Rest your face against his back or shoulder and hold him firmly but gently (it’s a hug, not a wrestling hold).

Hold it for a moment. A big part of what separates friendly hugs from romantic hugs is the amount of time you spend in each other’s arms. Spend a moment enjoying the feeling of his body against yours. Take a deep breath, and let it out with a slight sigh.

Squeeze and let go. Make eye contact and smile again as you break apart. If you are feeling especially affectionate, you might wrap your fingers in his as you separate, and give him a flirty look as you swing your arm gently for a moment before dropping his hand. A common way to signify the end of a hug is to give someone’s back a quick rub or pat.

Hugging Intimately

Make eye contact first. If the two of you are having an intimate moment, your eyes will communicate a lot about how you are feeling. Smile at him and move your body closer.

Draw him close to you. If you are holding hands, you can pull him near. You might also place a hand on his hip or gently tug his shirt.

Wait for it. Let the anticipation build for a moment, your body lightly touching his. Look at his face to gauge how he is feeling. Maybe take his hand, or put a hand on his waist.

Wrap your arms around him firmly. Breathe, and relax into his body. You might lean your head against his chest or shoulder, or move one of your hands down to hold one of his. Stay in this position for a while, enjoying the closeness. Feel his breathing. Listen for his heartbeat. Relax into the moment. Don’t feel any pressure to speak—your body will speak for you. It’s up to you whether or not to rub his back with your hands. A gentle back rub can feel nice, but if you want to comfort someone or make him feel safe, sometimes it’s best just to hold him.

Take a deep breath and exhale when you are ready to break the hug. Squeeze him gently, and lean back. Grab his hand as you break apart, and give that a light squeeze as well before letting go. Look into his eyes, and give him your most affectionate, trusting smile.

Hugging Passionately

Set the mood first. A passionate hug shouldn’t come out of nowhere. Flirt with him first. Make it clear you are interested in him.

Look into his eyes and pull him towards you. You can do this by taking his hand, putting an arm around his waist, or tugging the front of his shirt. Pull his hips in to your hips, run your hand over his back, and give him a sexy smile.

Press yourself against him. Wrap your arms around him and pull him even closer. Notice the physical sensation of being so close. Smell him. Feel his arms around you. Enjoy yourself.

Show him you enjoy being close to him. Run a hand through his hair, or across his back. Make a soft, “mmm” sound. If you're enjoying the hug, he should be able to sense it. A quick back rub is not sensual. Move your hands slowly, exploring his body.

Do what feels right. Maybe a hug is all the passion you’re up to right now, maybe not. Often a passionate hug is leading to more, but it doesn’t have to. If you want to turn the hug into a kiss, lean your torso back so your hips are still pressed together, look him in the eyes, and go for it. If you want to end the hug, squeeze him gently, and lean back. Grab his hand as you break apart, and give it a light squeeze before letting go. Look into his eyes, and give him a mischievous smile as you break away.