Dropping Hints in Conversation
Make casual plans with her. Don’t panic--you’re not asking her out on a date! Set up something very casual in a big group setting. Showing her that you want to spend more time with her is a big hint about your feelings, but the large group of friends around will make it a low-pressure situation. Start with fun, energetic activities like bowling and laser tagging, where you’ll be able to talk a bit but without the pressure of a one-on-one date. Make it sound like it just occurred to you to invite her along. Say, “I just remembered, I’m going to the beach this weekend with a big group of people. You should definitely come. I thought it sounded lame before, but with you there it might actually be fun.”
Tease her gently and make light jokes. Poke fun at the subject she’s studying at school, her hometown, or her favorite TV show or sports team. Avoid self-deprecating humor, which could make you come off as unconfident, and don’t tease her the whole time you’re talking. Mix a couple of jokes into conversation, but listen to her sincerely for the rest of it. For example, if she works on the school paper, smile and joke, “I bet you report a lot of hard-hitting news stories around here.” You can use light sarcasm by saying something like, “You watch CSI? So you’re basically a detective now, right?” Playfully disagree with her with a line like, “Your favorite movie is Ghostbusters? I don’t know if we can be friends now.” Avoid teasing her about things like her looks, her intelligence, or her family.
Make a point of treating her differently than everyone else. When you’re hanging out in a larger group of friends, go out of your way to find and talk to her. This will show her that her conversation is special to you, and that she’s more important to you than other girls or even your other friends. If you typically joke around with every girl you talk to, be a little more sincere around her. Avoid paying lots of attention to other girls. You might think it would make her jealous and maybe even more interested, but that probably won’t be the case. At best, she’ll assume you’re just a flirt who’s not really interested in her in particular, and at worst, she’ll be hurt by the change in your feelings.
Compliment her. Say something admiring about her looks, her intelligence, her job, or her passions. She’ll feel flattered and see that you’ve been thinking about her and really listening to what she’s talking about. Try, “You look amazing tonight,” or, “That’s so cool that you volunteer at a dog shelter.” You could also compliment her taste in music, movies, food, or anything else. Say, “That band you recommended is amazing,” or, “Good choice, the steak is the best thing on the menu.”
Say goodbye to her before you leave. If you’re at an event together, make a point of finding her before you leave, especially if you’ve drifted apart during the event. She’ll remember that you came back to her just to say goodbye, and will realize she must be special to you for you to exert that kind of effort. Say, “I have to head out, but it was great to see you. We should definitely hang out again.” If she smiles and agrees, try for a quick hug. If you don’t feel ready for that, just smile and say, “Okay, see you later.” If you haven’t asked for her number yet, now is a great time to do it. When she agrees that you should see each other again, say, “Oh wait, I don’t think I have your number. Can I get it really quick?”
Showing Your Interest on Social Media
Text her just because. You should definitely text her to set up plans together, but you can also send her sweet, random things that remind you of her. This will show her that you’re thinking of her even when you’re not together, which is a big hint that you see her as more than just a friend. Try teasing her lightly in the same way that you would in person, which will encourage her to respond. For example, you can say, “Ugh, we were talking about all these symbols in Hamlet today and I was thinking, if only Susan were here, she’s the biggest Shakespeare nerd I know ;)” Try text her about as much as she texts you, so you don’t come off as desperate.
Post a picture of the two of you. Make sure you both look good in it and write out a casual caption. The fact that you’re posting a picture with her is a huge hint on its own, so a relaxed caption will show you’re not desperate. For example, caption a picture of you two at a sporting event with “Finally found the one person who knows more about baseball than I do.” If you’re nervous about taking a picture together, make a joke out of it. Say, “My mom wants to know if I’ve talked to anyone at this party besides my brother. Will you be my proof?”
Like 3-5 of her recent photos. You can definitely look back farther than that, but be careful not to like any photos posted more than 6 months ago. These likes are an easy, subtle way of showing her that you’re actively looking at her page and feeling attracted to her.
Leave a flirty comment. A clever comment can be an even bolder way of showing a girl you’re interested in her. Comment on just 1 or 2 recent photos, and keep your messages short, casual, and cool. You could say, “Not sure why was I not invited to the Super Bowl party? Have you never heard of my world-famous nachos?”
Send playful, funny pictures on Snapchat. Send selfies with silly filters, pictures of cute animals, or funny videos. Make it your mission to become her best friend on Snapchat, and even start a streak, which will give you an excuse to snap each other every day. Watch her stories, and send a quick message every few days or so to comment on what she’s doing. She can tell when you screenshot or replay pictures, so do so strategically and make a joke out of it! If she sends a funny selfie, for example, you could screenshot it and send a message saying “Blackmail material ;)” Messages on Snapchat disappear immediately if you don’t save them, so keep most of your flirting to your regular texting. Don’t send inappropriate pictures over Snapchat. They’ll only freak her out and scare her off.
Direct message her for a private but casual conversation. Use DMs to start a flirty conversation about something she’s posted. Try not to write something neutral that you could easily leave as a comment on a picture. Ask a question she’ll have to respond to, instead, or reference an inside joke that no one else would understand. For example, if she posts a picture from a tropical vacation, you could say, “I’m debating about going there next year, give me three reasons why I should, ready go” Sending a DM is one of the biggest hints you can drop on social media, so think about what you say and be confident!
Avoid overwhelming her with comments, pictures, or DMs. If you comment on a picture, let her reply or like it before commenting again. Similarly, if you send a Snapchat or DM, wait until she sends you one back to message her again. Sending continuous messages with no response will make you come off as desperate at best, or at worst, a little creepy. If you send something she doesn’t respond to, tease her about it gently when you see her next. Say, “Wow, thanks for the rejection on Instagram last night!” If she laughs and says she didn’t see the message, or didn’t have time to respond, you’re probably in the clear. If her response is a little less friendly, back off for a bit and let her make the next move.
Flirting With Body Language
Make eye contact. This is definitely important if you’re talking to her, but you should also make a point of looking at her even when you’re not in conversation. She’ll pick up on the fact that you’re paying lots of attention to her and will feel intrigued and admired. If you’re at an event together and you see her across the room, look at her a few times--not so much that you’ll seem weird, but enough to catch her eye at least once. If she looks back, raise your eyebrows and give her a small smile. Even if she doesn’t make eye contact, there’s a good chance she sees you out of the corner of her eye. If she asks about it later, make a semi-serious joke about it, like “Yeah, I guess I just couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”
Lean in when you talk to her. Take any excuse to get a little closer! If you’re in a crowded or noisy place like a party, restaurant, or sporting event, you have a ready-made reason to lean in when you talk to her. This shows that you want to hear what she’s saying and tells her that you want to get closer physically, too. Try not to loom over her or get too close too fast. If she backs off a little, say, “Sorry, it’s just so loud in here.” Lean in with your ear first, to make it obvious that you’re getting closer to hear her better. She might even agree and suggest walking somewhere a little less crowded to continue the conversation.
Show her respect by tending to her needs. Do "chivalrous" gestures such as holding the door open for her, offering to carry something for her, or speaking politely. When she's ready to leave, walk her out. This will show her that you care. Don't push too hard if she doesn't want your help.
Find subtle ways to touch her. Skim her hand when you laugh, or sit so that your legs are brushing each other. Hug her to say hello and goodbye, and let your arm linger on her shoulder or arm. You’re showing her that you want to get closer and that you see her as more than just a friend, but someone you want to have physical affection with. If she backs off a little at first, don’t push it--she’s probably just shy. Keep talking and let her relax a little, then try something more casual. For example, if she was a little surprised by a hug when you said hello, try just lightly touching her shoulder when you say goodbye.
Fix your appearance when you first see her. Smooth down your hair, straighten your tie, or fix your shirt. Showing that you care about how you look in front of her will let her know that you’re interested in a subtle and flattering way.
Giving Her Small Gifts
Order her favorite food or drink without her asking. This is a great way to show your interest when you’re at an event together, or out at a restaurant or bar with a big group. She’ll be surprised and happy that you remembered her favorite dish, and the food or drink will give her an excuse to stay put and keep talking to you. Say, “I remembered you said how much you love onion rings, so I thought you could show me what’s so great about them.”
Give her a funny, sweet gift. This is especially important if it’s around her birthday or another gift-giving holiday. She’ll be touched that you remembered and went to the effort of buying you a gift. It’s a big hint that you like her as something more than just a friend. Try to incorporate any inside jokes you have, or funny memories you’ve shared together. For example, if you share a class and complain about how hard the assignments are, look for a funny book of wrong test answers. If you’ve bonded over a love of tacos, get her a taco cookbook or a gift card to your favorite taco shop.
Leave her something sweet where she’ll find it. Surprising her with a small chocolate bar or packet of candies will brighten up her day in an unexpected way. Leave a funny note, like “Don’t let this candy make you too hyper!” For example, if you know she has a tough test in one of her classes, sneak in early and leave a candy bar on her desk. When you see her next, ask, “How did the test go? I’ve heard chocolate helps you score higher…”
Surprise her with a ticket to an event she’ll love. If she mentions a certain music genre she loves or a festival she’d die to go to, buy tickets to it and surprise her with one. This is a great way to show that you know what she loves and want to spend more time with her. For example, say, “I have an extra ticket to that ice cream festival. If you’re free next weekend you should come and eat your way through 50 flavors with me!”
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