Flirty Jokes
Secure yourself a date with a cheesy—but sexy—pick-up line. Whether you’ve met someone on the street or on the apps, win them over with a clever dad joke that also doubles as a pick-up line. Are they silly? Of course! Are they surefire ways to get a total babe laughing, blushing, and saying “Yes” to a night on the town with you? Also yes! “Are you a loan? Because you sure have my interest!” “Any chance you’ve got an extra heart? Mine’s been stolen!” “Is your last name Campbell? Because you’re mm mm good!” “Even in zero gravity, I’d fall for you.” “You must be made of Copper and Tellurium—because you’re CuTe!” “There’s something wrong with my phone. Your number’s not in it!” “You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.” “I was blinded by your beauty; I’m going to need your name and phone number for insurance purposes.” “I volunteer as your victim tonight since you're clearly dressed to kill.” “Are you a charger? Because I’m dying without you.” “Life without you is like a broken pencil…pointless.” “Are you the lottery? Because I’m delusional and I think I’ve got a chance.” “Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more!” “When a penguin finds its mate, they stay together forever. Will you be my penguin?” “Can I follow you home? My parents always told me to follow my dreams.” “Is Liam Neeson your dad? Because I’m TAKEN with you!” “I want to be your handbag so I never leave your side.” “Do you like Nintendo? Because Wii sure would look good together!” “Aside from being extremely hot, what do you do for a living?” “Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?” “Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?”
Dirty Jokes
Kick things up a notch with a funny, sexy compliment. There’s a time and a place for dirty jokes, but if you get good vibes from your crush or date, they might be receptive to a joke that toes the line of propriety. If you want to spice things up with your date, try one of these bad boys. “I don’t want to have kids with you, but I’m happy to help you practice.” “My bed is broken. Can I use yours?” “Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.” “I can’t find my treasure anywhere. Can I search your chest and see if it’s there?” “Well, lucky me. I’ve checked off my whole to-do list except for one thing: you.” “You’re so sexy, “I’ve got to admit, I was feeling a little off earlier. But the minute you walked in, you turned me on.” “You’ll have to excuse me if I seem a little off tonight. I just watched a documentary about the water crisis, and I feel like I have to do something. Will you shower with me to conserve water?” “I hope you never change, but leave your clothes off if you do.” “You must have been born on the moon because your body is out of this world.” “Want to help me get on Santa’s naughty list this year?”
Funny Jokes
Wow them with your wit, flirty or not. Who said pick-up lines need to be flirty? You can charm a cutie with a run-of-the-mill dad joke—even if it’s not sexy, per se. Get ‘em laughing and you’ve got ‘em loving! “Q: Who’s the loneliest billionaire? A: Alone Musk.” “Q: What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? A: Sofishticated.” “Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.” “Q: Why is the divorce rate so high with tennis players? A: To them, love means nothing.” “I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected.” “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.” “If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg.” “Q: What do you call a criminal landing an airplane? A: Con descending.” “My doctor said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.” “I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids. That’s right: I’m a faux pa.”
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