How to Address The Emotional Unavailability of Your Partner

Emotional compatibility is quite often not discussed when talking about romantic relationships or marriages. However, they do play a crucial role in any relationship. Many times you may find your partner not at the same frequency as yours when it comes to conversations that require emotional maturity.

Associate marriage and family therapist from San Diego, Sarah O’Leary told wedding publication Brides, “Emotional neglect is when someone’s attachment and/or emotional needs are disregarded.” She added that emotional neglect also pushes couples apart and one cannot feel emotionally safe or secure in a relationship with emotional neglect. “It can also really negatively affect your own personal wellbeing, both mentally and physically,” she added.

So how do you cope with the emotional unavailability of your partner?

Examine the cause

Start by figuring out the core of this problem. Some of the questions that you should ask are:

1. Was your relationship always like this or did it deteriorate over time?
2. Does it feel like your partner’s attitude changed over months or years?
3. Is there a situation or event that caused a change in their behaviour?

Answers to these questions might make it possible for you to discover the reasons why your partner has been emotionally distant. Also, if your partner has been like this since the beginning, then it is more of a problem. Ignoring such red flags during the initial stages of a relationship could land you in a problem in the long run.

Try to initiate healthy conversations

Instead of venting out your disappointment at your partner, you should consider approaching this problem in a more mature way. Make your partner realise that their behaviour is causing you problems. Communicate your emotional needs with your partner and tell them what you expect from them.

Spend quality time

Time is going to be the most fruitful investment in your relationship. Even if it is just going out for a walk or a long drive, the little things will bring that substantial groundwork on which the foundations of your relationship can be built.

Seek professional help

Going to couple therapy may sound like it is the last straw, but it can do wonders to your relationship. A professional therapist will facilitate constructive conversations, help you get some perspective, and give you both the space to express your feelings.

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