Dear Delhiites,
Growing up here in Kolkata means you’re ready at all times for winters that you may or may not ever actually face in your lifetime. Of all the damaging stereotypes about Bengalis, I’m here to sadly report that the one about monkey caps is true. Before we had any kind of control over our sartorial choices, our parents would whip out the monkey cap just as November would begin to set in and on the school bus, there was bound to be at least one unfortunate kid with no rebellious streak who would become the butt of all jokes for keeping the item on.
The world’s miseries are not equally meted out. Delhi winters and Kolkata winters were not made to be equals, but we really don’t have to be rivals. Could we sympathise with you while wearing our hoodies (I’m currently no longer wearing monkey caps)? Could you maybe try not to gatekeep the experience of cold? Nobody is coming for your crown. Mostly because it isn’t a crown.
Every winter, cold wars are fought on Twitter between you folks and Mumbaikars over who gets to stake a claim over the winter season. Kolkata isn’t let anywhere near the arena for obvious reasons. It would be a lot easier for all of us if you didn’t try to fight us while simultaneously freezing halfway into oblivion. It isn’t a good look. Like Christina Perri said, “you’re gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul” et cetera.
Me in Delhi at 3°C talking to a friend in Mumbai.#delhiwinter pic.twitter.com/fglD6ye44M— That Marine Guy ???????? (@thatmarineguy21) December 26, 2022
This season, especially, winter has decided to exit Kolkata even earlier than usual. It isn’t January yet and the heavier of blankets are already about to be stowed away. Meanwhile, you’re battling a cold wave. We’ve got nothing on you when it comes to winters. Trust me, we know. As a city, we like to live in the past and will wax poetic about just about anything, but even so, we do have a modicum of self-awareness.
bro why is it so hot in december in mumbai??? aren't we all supposed to be getting dunked on by delhi peeps for complaining about non existent winter rn???— Arshad Wahid (@vettichennaiguy) December 19, 2022
People- old, homeless, disabled, or otherwise marginalised- face the prospect of death due to extreme cold weather. Fighting tooth and nail to cement your position as the toughest winter warriors for some Twitter clout isn’t the win you might think it is.
For those living in Delhi without a roof over their heads, surviving the Indian capital's harsh winters is a challenge. At this time of year, local authorities open additional homeless shelters, and charities bring help directly to the streets. pic.twitter.com/VIMlQN7Unh
— DW Asia (@dw_hotspotasia) December 29, 2022
The planet is, at any rate, hurtling towards destruction with a climate crisis looming over us. That, unfortunately, is as true for you as it is for people in Mumbai, Kolkata, or elsewhere. It’s about to be the end of the year but the nightmares of the deadly heatwave in South Asia are still not too far behind us. The heatwave in India and Pakistan in March-April was made 30 times more likely by climate change, as per an India Today report. We all get to be miserable. There’s enough tragedy to go around.
If doomsday comes tomorrow, Elon Musk and the billionaires of the world might stand a chance at jetting off to Mars, but you and I will bid adieu together and no one will have been the wiser. Forget Twitter. Let’s be friends.
Sincerely,
People in Kolkata.
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