During a symposium organised by Padma Clinic and Nursing Home on Marriage and Divorce for psychologists, T C S Raja Chockalingam, Additional Principal Family court Judge, highlighted that divorce rate is climbing rapidly. Every city, from Delhi to Chennai, and every class of society is being affected by it. Interestingly, about 5-10 cases — both divorce and alimony — are being filed every day in the family court and over 5,000 divorce cases are still pending, he said. Before delivering the verdict, Chockalingam said that ample time is given for reconciliation through counseling. Dr Kannan Gireesh, eminent psychiatrist, pointed out certain reasons why divorce rates are increasing. Here are a few of them — greater social acceptance of divorce in urban areas and also a gradual acceptance of women who initiate divorce (not in rural areas) because families have started to believe that perhaps their daughter can have a life after a divorce.
The anonymity of big cities has helped divorcees avoid the glare of judgmental friends and relatives. The financial freedom of women to walk away from an abusive relationship has also helped. The sanctity of marriages is going for a toss. People’s attitude towards marriage itself is changing. Those couples, who are financially stable and have no kids are not held back by the fear of how a divorce will impact their children.
One of the other points made by Gireesh was, the stress that comes with a modern lifestyle. Today, the working environment has changed drastically. The economy has opened up, most companies are hit with intense competition which leads to tremendous pressure at work where employees work all night, six nights a week. This can destroy a marriage whether its just one of the partners working or both.
Change in gender roles, professional rivalry and intolerance are some of the reasons that came out at the symposium. For instance, if the wife does a full-time job, it does change gender roles. Conflicts arising from sharing work load at home adds to the stress faced at work by the couple. Tensions often arise if the husband imagines that the women’s career is temporary or the women imagine that their husbands will lend a hand at home. Whether in traditional India or the emancipated West, men are still not comfortable with a strong, independent and modern woman. Men might feel that they are ready for a working partner, and they can be, but not for a high-powered career woman.
Gireesh further added that the only solution to such problems is for people to share a healthy understanding with each other and the couple managing to strike the right balance in their approach to life’s problems.
Dr K Gireesh, a neurophysician and neurosurgeon, and Deputy Dean of SRM Medical College, in his inaugural address elaborated how people experiencing marital disharmony experience various psychosomatic problems such as headache, neck pain, back pain and pseudo seizures. He also said that marriages fulfill the primary human need for intimacy and emotional nourishment. It binds two individuals into a strong relationship with well defined rights and obligations. Marriages give rise to families comprising man, woman and children and thus helps create the basic building block of society.
K Vijayan of Psychologist Institute of Mental Health delivered the welcome address. About hundred psychologists from various colleges in the city participated in the symposium.
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