Is Cheating a Sin? The Problem with Infidelity (Even if You Aren't Married)

Is cheating sinful?

Yes, every faith system basically agrees cheating is a sin. There are a lot of different ways of thinking about sin, and every faith system has its own way of categorizing or assessing types of sin. When it comes to infidelity though, basically every belief system puts cheating in the sin bucket, even if they don’t necessarily use that word to describe it. While marriage does represent a unique and sacred vow, cheating on someone you’re dating is also a sin. It’s not just about the contract of marriage—it’s about not breaking your promises.

Protestantism

The Bible explicitly says that infidelity is a sin. “Thou shalt not commit adultery” is one of the original 10 commandments (Exodus 20:14). Monogamy in relationships has been a protestant staple since the inception of the faith. In general, any kind of dishonesty or falsehood will qualify as a sin for protestant Christians. “‘Do not steal.“ ‘Do not lie. “ ‘Do not deceive one another” (Leviticus 19:11). Is this sin forgivable? Yes. Most Protestant sects do not differentiate between different “types” of sin, and in the eyes of God, all sin is redeemable through faith in Jesus Christ. The Bible reiterates the severity of cheating in marriage in Hebrews: “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (13:4) In fact, the Gospel even compares cheating to just looking at someone and being attracted to them. “You have heard that it was said, `You shall not commit adultery. ' But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)

Catholicism

In Catholicism, cheating is considered a serious sin. The same commandments exist for all Christians, and God is pretty clear when He says, “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). Unlike Protestantism, which doesn’t really treat different sins uniquely, Catholics maintain a difference between mortal sins, which are the most serious, and venial sins, which aren’t as serious. Is this sin forgivable? Despite the severity of the sin of infidelity, God can forgive you if you repent. If you’re Catholic, see a priest for confession and tell the priest about your mortal sin. The Gospel also reiterates, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:11-12) For Catholics, venial sins are the minor indiscretions you make where you don’t intentionally eschew God. Forgetting to pay for something in your cart at the grocery store, or losing your cool in an argument and cursing, for example.

Judaism

Infidelity is one of the most terrible sins in Jewish law. The Jewish holy book is the Torah, which is the first five books of the Christian Bible. This includes Exodus, which states, “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). But Jewish Law, as outlined in Leviticus, specifies that infidelity is one of the crimes for which you can be put to death. Is this sin forgivable? Yes, so long as you repent and make an active effort to repair the harm you’ve done. The family (alongside the temple and the community) is one of the pillars of the Jewish faith. To be forgiven, an adulterer must take any necessary measure to right the wrong they’ve inflicted on their loved ones.

Islam

For Muslims, cheating is both haram and Zina. Allah is explicit about adultery: “And come not near unto adultery. Lo! it is an abomination and an evil way.” (Al-Isra’ 17: 32) In Islam, Zina is the set of religious laws that cover illegal sexual intercourse, and sex with anyone outside of marriage is a violation of this law. Adultery is also haram, which means it is forbidden for true believers. Is this sin forgivable? Adultery is a major sin in Islam, which means you must exercise what Muslims refer to as the four Rs: remorse, repentance, resolution, and repair. To be forgiven for major sins, you must admit fault, pray, vow to never commit the sin again, and work with your partner to repair whatever harm you’ve done.

Buddhism

Infidelity creates suffering, which is bad karma for Buddhists. Buddhists don’t really have a concept of “sin” in an Abrahamic sense, but it’s clear for Buddhists that infidelity is bad. The Dhammapada, one of Buddhism’s holy books, outlines the penalties for infidelity: “Four misfortunes befall a man who is unmindful of right conduct and commit sexual misconduct with another man's wife: acquisition of demerit, disturbed sleep, reproach, and suffering in niraya.” (Verse 309). Is this sin forgivable? Nothing is to be forgiven for Buddhists, but you must live out the karmas you create. If you are responsible for harming your partner by cheating, the suffering you produce will come back upon you. Once you live that out, and understand why you were wrong, you can move on and continue to grow spiritually.

Should you confess to cheating?

Not confessing your sin is engaging in another sin—lying. Cheating on your partner is already a sin according to basically every faith system out there, and every belief system is in agreement that continuing to lie about it is another sin. You don’t get a pass just because you actively aren’t telling a lie—refusing to come clean is a lie by admission, which is a lie all the same. Come clean and confess. If you aren’t ready to confess yet but it’s weighing on your soul, talk to your priest, pastor, rabbi, imam, or local faith leader. They’ll help walk you through the proper next steps.