How to Play King and Asshole

General Guidelines

Know the ranks. The name of the game comes from its ranking system. Since there are so many variants, there are many options. Before you start playing, establish the ranks you'll be using. You'll need enough for each person (and at least 3 players). President or King - The winner of the previous round Vice President ("VP") or Minister - Second place Vice Scum or Asshole - Second to last place Scum or Asshole - Last place in the previous round You can use as many titles as you like, depending on the number of players you have. If you have a whole mess of players, consider including titles like Secretary (one below VP), Citizens, Peasants, or Average Joes. Some people choose to use the presidential line of succession, ending with a Clerk (right before the Scum).

Learn the terms. As you begin playing, you'll see that each time a player lays a card, there's an accompanying term. Familiarize yourself with the terms for efficient play. Single - when only one card is laid down Double (Dub) - a pair of cards of the same value Triple (Trip) - three cards of the same value Quadruple (Quads) - four cards of the same value Kicker - a single card played with a four-of-a-kind to make it a bomb (in some variants) Clear/Table - If someone plays a hand and every other player passes, the table is cleared. The cards then get removed and the same player starts again, laying whatever card they choose. And if that player gets rid of all their cards, the next person who can beat the hand gets the next turn. If no one can beat the hand, it clears to the next player in line.

If drinking, establish the applicable rules. Not only will you have the basics of the game, but the rules to drink need to be established as well. The following are known examples--you can get as creative as you are able. The card that matches the number of players present is usually referred to as the "social." When laid, all players must drink twice. It can be played on any card and two socials (or even three) can be laid back to back. The next player then plays on the card that was laid before the "social." If a player passes, he or she must drink. Sometimes this is limited so it only applies if anyone else can play before the pile is cleared. If a player lays a card of the same rank as the previous card, the next player loses their turn and subsequently drinks. For example, if player 1 lays down a 4 and player 2 lays down a 4, player 3 loses their turn and must drink. If a 4 is played again by player 4, player 5 is skipped and drinks.

Designate the necessary cards. While it's not imperative, you can choose cards that have specific functions. This can add an element of chance to a game with players of different ability levels. Some players like to choose a card that automatically clears the board. If laid down, the trick starts over and that person begins with whatever card they please. This is usually a 2. In addition, designate a wild card (usually a 3) that can take the place of any other number (except the clear card). Instead of having the person left of the dealer start, have the person holding a specific card (4 of clubs, for example) begin.

How to Play

Deal the cards. The Asshole deals one deck of cards (without the jokers) clockwise to the left, starting with himself and proceeding in order of player hierarchy from low to high until all cards are dealt (presuming the participants are sitting in order). This ensures that the King begins with the fewest number of cards if the hands are uneven. Some parties may wish to sit in order each round to make it easier. At the first round, anyone can deal. If there is an uneven number of cards to be had, roll a die to see who gets the fewest. In certain variants, the Asshole must hand over his two best cards to the King. If there is a Vice Asshole or Asshole Jr., he must hand over 1. The King and VP then hand over 2 and 1, respectively, of their worst cards.

Start with a low card. Either the player to the left of the dealer or the player with a designated card (4 of clubs, say) begins the "trick" (like in Spades or Bridge). The next player can either lay the same card, a higher card, or a pair, three, or four of the same or higher card. With each turn, the value of the cards gets higher and higher until no one can play. Each player must at least lay the same number of cards. If 2 threes are laid down, the succeeding play must be either 2 threes or 2 fours, etc. Of course, 3 or 4 of the same card is doable as well. If a player cannot go, they pass. They can still play in the same round--they are just opting to pass that specific turn. If all players cannot go, the hand is cleared and the last person to lay a hand down starts again.

Continue the "tricks." As the rounds progress, each player is holding fewer and fewer cards. When one runs out, they become King. That player then sits happily while the rest fight to the death not to become the Asshole. To make the game go more quickly, however, you may count each player's cards after the King is established to assign roles. If keeping score, the players get points depending on their position - for example 2 for the President, 1 for the Vice President and nothing for the others. More importantly, the players of higher status are entitled to enjoy and generally abuse their power over the lower ranking players.

General Variations

Establish extra rules about passing. There are a number of alterations you can make to the general idea of passing. A couple extra regulations are common: Some people play that if you can beat the previous play, you must. Passing is only allowed if you are unable to play. Typically, this makes the game less interesting and doesn't allow for strategy. Some people do not allow a player who has passed to play at subsequent turns during the same trick. If you pass, you must wait until someone wins the trick and leads again. This can get rather boring for the person with an incredibly bad hand.

Play with runs. If the people who play before you lay a 5 and then a 6 consecutively and you put 7, you can call "runs." Then the next cards will be forced to go in sequence, 5-6-7-8-9-10-J-Q-K-A. If anyone can't contribute in order, they will be dropped out of the round.

Have the King make obnoxious rules. If you're playing this as a drinking game, you may want to up the ante. Odds are the King will want to search the depths of his mind for the most annoying, abuse-of-power rules out there, but here are a few to start off with: Thumb Master: When the King puts his thumb down on the table, everyone must immediately follow suit. The last person to do so must drink. Anyone who makes eye contact with the King must drink. Before the hand starts, someone must give the King a toast (this is an opportune time to kiss-ass to the King). If no toast is presented, the King can give out his own punishment. The King designates a player (or commands that the Asshole do so) to get everyone's drinks as long as he is ruler of the land.