How to Make a Friend Happy

Cheering Up Your Friend

Spend time together. Relationships, no matter the form, are a key to happiness. Therefore, just spending time with your friend can make both of you happier. Make sure to encourage one another, as well as offer gratitude for the relationship, all of which will increase her happiness. For instance, you could let her know that you value her friendship by telling her regularly, such as saying "I just want you to know how glad I am you're in my life," or by sending her a card every now and then.

Make her laugh. "Laughter is the best medicine" is a saying for a reason. Laughing can make you happier and healthier as a person, so try to get your friends to laugh by cracking jokes or even poking (light) fun at yourself.

Build up her self-esteem. Everyone needs to hear they are smart, strong, and beautiful sometimes. Don't be afraid to tell your friend these things, as they can help her build confidence and self-esteem. Try to make your compliments unique to the person, so she knows you truly mean what you say. For instance, saying "I really like how you take the time to listen to everyone you meet. It shows how much you care about people." is a more specific compliment then, "You're a good listener." Any time you hear your friend putting themselves down, try to respond with a compliment or some encouraging words. This can help your friend see themselves in a more positive light.

Help her to see the positive side. If your friend is grouching about a situation at work, for instance, help her see the positive side of things. That doesn't mean you should downplay her feelings. In fact, definitely hear out her problem before reacting. But try to help her asking probing questions such as, "What things can you do to make the situation better?" or "What's been happening at work lately that's been good?" Research shows that those who choose to look for happiness learn to be more optimistic overall, making them happier in general.

Try out new things together. True happiness is in part about the adventure. It may mean you may need to step outside of what's comfortable and try something new, and in turn, discover new things you love. If you want your friends to be happy, encourage them to try new things with you. For instance, try a new restaurant in your city, explore nearby towns, or begin a new hobby together.

Give her a call. Pick a time when you have no agenda. Just give her a call to say hello, and see how she's doing. Nothing says, "I'm thinking about you." like giving someone a call.

Bring her one of her favorite treats. You know what your friend likes. Maybe she can't live without an afternoon coffee, or maybe she has a penchant for black forest cake. Surprise her by bringing one of them to her when you know she's having a rough day.

Have an impromptu dance party. Dancing gets your blood pumping, plus it's silly and fun. Put some music on, and rock out together.

Send her a card or postcard. Not many people get handwritten notes anymore. It's so rare, in fact, that it's bound to put a smile on her face. Drop a note in the mail to her. If you include one with a funny card, that's a bonus.

Do something nice out of the blue. Drop by with her favorite casserole. Do a chore you know she hates to do, like mow the lawn. Send her a small present you know she'll love. Any concrete gesture will be sure to brighten her day.

Be happy yourself. One of the best ways to make your friends happier is to be happier yourself. That is, you tend to be happier when you are around people who are happier. Similarly, your happiness will rub off on your friends. When spending time with your friend, try to think and speak positively. Your positive outlook will help encourage your friend to think similarly.

Supporting a Friend Who's Depressed

Let her know you're there for her. Sometimes, just being with a friend who's depressed can be a big help. If you can't be there with the person, offer your emotional support, letting her know that you're there to listen and help in whatever way you can. Say something like, "Would it be helpful for you to talk right now? I'm here for you."

Offer concrete support. Being depressed can make the smallest things hard. You can offer concrete support to the person, such as volunteering to drive her places, cooking for her, or calling to make appointments for things she needs to get done. Just make sure to follow through on what support you offer. Go ahead and make the offer of support up front. Sometimes people who are depressed have a hard time reaching out for help when they need it.

Show the person you care. Even something small can mean a great deal to someone who's depressed. Bring her a coffee, or drop her a note in the mail. Try cooking her a plate of sweet treats she'll enjoy. These small gestures add up, letting her know that she's loved and you are thinking about her.

Encourage her to get help. If she hasn't already, try to get her to seek a professional opinion. Ask her if she's talked to a therapist or a psychiatrist, both of which can help with depression. Because mental illnesses have a stigma in society, you should also mention that she shouldn't feel ashamed of getting help. Depression is just a disease like any other one, and it can be treated. If she's hesitant, offer to take her to an appointment or to work with her to help her feel less anxious. Maybe you can help her work through what to say or what questions to ask when she gets there.

Find support for her. If she's not willing to see a psychologist, look up some local support groups for people with depression. You can give her the information to encourage her to go, but it's ultimately up to her. However, one way you can encourage her is to offer to take her.

Encourage her to come out with you. Many times, people with depression will isolate themselves. Encourage her to spend time with you doing things she likes or taking a walk with you. Getting out and seeing people can help on the road to recovery. Of course, you have to meet people where they are. If she doesn't feel like going out right away, ask if she wants some company at home or if she wants to come over to your house.

Skip the platitudes and criticisms. You're only trying to be helpful by offering advice such as "Just buck up," or "You really need to snap out of this." However, these types of statements tend to only make the situation worse. Supportive statements are much better, such as, "I know you're going through a difficult time. I do believe you are strong enough to get through this, but don't be afraid to ask for help."