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Expert Source
Leah MorrisLife Coach
Expert Interview. 21 August 2020.
If you want to work on enjoying life more, there are steps you can take. Work on making future plans that you will enjoy and focus on cultivating a sense of anticipation. Watch for small pleasures in your day-to-day life so you can have something to look forward to on otherwise average days. Lastly, try to work on having a spontaneous spirit. If you're able to loosen up and not stick to a rigid schedule, you'll encounter more opportunities for fun and pleasure throughout the day.
Making Plans to Look Forward To
Start scheduling future plans on a calendar. A calendar is a concrete reminder of what you have to look forward to during the course of a week or a month. Buy a large calendar from an office shop and use it to schedule exciting future plans. Are there days of the week when you have some extra time consistently? Do you perhaps work in a job that is busier at the end of the month than the beginning? Look for any holes in your schedule that you can fill with exciting activities. Once you've found holes in your schedule, make some plans. You don’t have to find a lot of time, just pick a time when you are consistently free during the week or month. For example, maybe you only work until 3 on Thursdays. Try to think of something to do every Thursday for a month. For example, maybe you can promise yourself you'll see a movie every Thursday.
Start a hobby. Hobbies can really help you have something to look forward to each day. Find something you enjoy doing or get back into an old hobby you've abandoned. Put your hobby on your calendar once a week or once a month, or as often as you can reasonably manage. Pick something you like to do. Everyone has a different idea of fun. Try to pick something that caters to your interests. If you love photography, try to invest in a quality camera and start taking pictures. If time permits, you could even enroll in a photography course. Choose something it is not difficult to do a few times a week. If you love horseback riding, for example, this can be a fun activity but difficult to do regularly, especially if you live in an urban area. Maybe your love of horseback riding stems from a love for animals. Instead of attempting to go riding once a week, think about volunteering at your local animal shelter or walking your dog more often.
Make dates and plan social gatherings. Many people look forward to social events, especially at the end of long work weeks. Try to make plans with friends and family members. Regular social activity can help give you something to look forward to. If you're stressed at school or work, happy hour with friends on a Friday night can help you get through the week. Choose social events you enjoy doing. You may not be a big drinker, for example, so going out to a bar on the weekends may nauseate you. However, maybe you enjoy the outdoors. See if you have a friend who would want to do a Saturday afternoon hike. Try to see if your group of friends would be down for regular activities. For example, you can agree to do brunch once a month. You can also consider starting a book club or craft club with a group of friends. Don't forget to add these events to your calendar, just like any other event. You’ll be more likely to anticipate events if you see them coming.
Plan a vacation. Researchers have found that one of the main reasons vacations make us happier is because of the anticipation of planning them. One study found that planning a vacation improved happiness for up to 8 weeks. If time and money allows it, try to schedule a vacation in the future. Ask your boss about how much vacation time you have. Set aside a chunk of the year to take a vacation. Pick a destination that excites you. If you're bored by rural settings, don't go to North Dakota. Instead, schedule a week in Manhattan. If you can’t get away from work for a long time, plan a mini-vacation over a long weekend. If you can’t afford to travel far, just plan a family trip to a local orchard, lake, or state park. Studies haven’t found a link between the length of vacation and overall happiness. Alternatively, plan a staycation, which means spending your time-off at home. Make plans well in advance to go to museums, pools, shows, and shops. You can also plan a week of reading and napping in your hammock.
Make a countdown calendar for big events. A countdown calendar can really increase your sense of anticipation. Place sticky notes on a small calendar or poster board. Remove one sticky note each day as the big event approaches. You could also create an online countdown calendar using online apps or programs. This can work great for a vacation, but you can also countdown to anything you're looking forward to, including: the birth of your grandchild the end of the school year your favorite holiday your sister's next trip to town the release of the next book in your favorite series
Allow yourself to enjoy the event itself. Don’t get so caught up in anticipating the next event that you forget to enjoy the event. When the big day comes, take time to savor what you’re doing. Think about why you anticipated this event, and be mindful of the pleasure it gives you. Turn off your phone or limit your use of your phone. This will allow you to better enjoy the moment. Take time to notice your senses. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? How are you feeling? In the immediate aftermath of the event, reflect and remember the fun times. Instead of feeling sad that the event ended, work on appreciating the event. Focus on your feeling of satisfaction.
Finding Excitement in Your Everyday Life
Create checkpoints to help you feel satisfied. Checkpoints can be a great way to cultivate a sense of excitement. While many people have longterm checkpoints, you need to have short term day-to-day checkpoints as well. They keep you grounded in the present moment and allow you to have small things to look forward to each day. To make checkpoints, mentally go through your day and jot down a list of what needs to get done. You can cross off checkpoints during the day, giving you a sense of satisfaction after you've completed a given task. Make a short to-do list including what you need to do on a day-to-day basis. For example, "Wake up, have breakfast, work out, go to work, etc." From there, list things that will motivate you to complete this list. For example, you may be seeing a movie with a friend at the end of a work week. While your week may seem grueling, you have a short term fun checkpoint you're working towards. Try to make a schedule for yourself that incorporates fun. Add checkpoints that involve daily relaxation and fun. For example, maybe you enjoy a certain television program. Allow yourself to watch an episode before bed.
Write down what makes you happy. In order to find happiness in the every day, you need to take stock of what makes you happy. Make a list of what you genuinely enjoy. Try to consider what brings you actual pleasure in life. In addition to having checkpoints that create feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment, you should have check points that encourage happiness. People have a tendency to see happiness in terms of external goals. While your checkpoints can help your each longterm goals (i.e., more money, a better job, etc.) that can help you feel fulfilled, day-to-day happiness is reliant on small pleasures. Socializing is a good measure of happiness. Most people struggle to be happy if they don't have people in their life who bring them joy. Think about people you spend time with and write down the things you like to do with them. Maybe you love cooking with your friend Martha or golfing with your friend Jane. Try to schedule these activities throughout your week.
Schedule time for small moments of happiness. Once you've figured out what makes you happy, make time for that activity. You may have to get up a little before the rest of your family, find time during your lunch break, or stay up a little late in order to incorporate that 20 minute activity. It will be worth it if you choose an activity that you will anticipate with joy. In addition to socializing, think of things you can do on your own that make you happy. Studies indicate that laughter and volunteer work can make many people happy. Maybe you can find time to volunteer at the local animal shelter a few times a week. You could also watch a comedy program together every night. If you can’t find a 20 minute window every day, find an hour in your week to do this activity instead.
Practice mindfulness to help you better appreciate the present. Mindfulness is a heightened awareness of your surroundings and your own behaviors. You can better appreciate the moment by practicing mindfulness, which may make you enjoy day-to-day activities more. This can make you look forward to everyday life more. To practice mindfulness, start by paying attention to your five senses as you do something ordinary. While you’re brushing your teeth, think about how it feels, tastes, smells, looks, and sounds. Pay attention to moments you may normally overlook. If you take the train into work every morning, for example, do not view this as a burden. Take it as an opportunity to relax on your way to a busy day. Pay attention to how the train seat feels. Listen to the voices of other commuters or put a song you like on your iPod. Pay attention to the smell and feel of the train. Mindfulness can also be a great way to disengage if you experience stressful thoughts during the day. Things you may dread, like work meetings, will seem less daunting if you practice mindfulness. If you feel your mind snowballing before a meeting in anticipation of a meeting, tune into your senses. Pay attention to your breath, the noises in your office, the smells, and the feel of your body on your desk chair.
Spend time with friends and family. Studies show socialization is an important key to happiness. If you're engaged socially, you're more likely to feel happier. Try making small tweaks to your schedule that allow you to socialize more often. If you have a friend who works near you, see if the two of you can meet for coffee or lunch every Tuesday. If you live with family, try to make a family dinner more of a routine. Instead of eating separately, get together around the kitchen table for a meal at least a few nights a week. Try to take time to socialize with coworkers. While you do not want to be disruptive, of course, you can take advantage of break time by having coffee and chatting with a co-worker. You may even find you make new friends at work. If it's hard to see people face-to-face, like if you work from home for example, take advantage of technology. Have a weekly video chat session with long distance friends, for example.
Find enjoyable solitary rituals. You cannot have time to socialize every day, as people are busy. If you live alone, find ways to enjoy solitary pleasures. You can take up a solitary hobby, like doing crossword puzzles or reading. You can find a video game to play online or on a game console. You can also watch a TV show you enjoy alone. Try to schedule in time for these activities. You do not have to have a strict start/end time, but you can have a rough idea when to appreciate alone time. For example, you can always read for an hour before bed. Avoid getting carried away, especially if the activity you enjoy is something you tend to binge on. If you're the type to overdo video games, for example, try to limit game time to 2 hours a night to make sure it doesn't get in the way of other activities.
Cultivating a More Spontaneous Attitude
Step out of your comfort zone in small increments. Having a more spontaneous attitude can lead you to embrace fun more. You'll have more to look forward to as you'll be seeking new adventure each day. Every experience will have the potential to turn into unexpected fun. To start becoming more spontaneous, break out of your comfort zone in small increments. If you're prone to routine by nature, it can be trying to step out of your comfort zone. This is why you'll need to start small. Try to eat lunch with a new group of co-workers, for example. Be consistent. Try something new every day, whether it's taking a different route to work or trying a new hairstyle. As you get braver and braver, you can push yourself more. For example, after experimenting with different hairstyles, consider cutting or dyeing your hair for a more permanent alteration.
Redefine fear. If trying something new gives you butterflies in your stomach, think of them as feelings of excitement instead of fear. You may soon come to look forward to those feelings. Keep in mind fear is not a bad thing. While you may be afraid of new things, it's the fear that can make trying them thrilling. Try to think of fear as a motivational factor. The feeling of happiness you'll get overcoming your fear is worth it. Think of fear more in terms of anticipation or excitement. Oftentimes, people are afraid of things that also excite or interest them. If you feel yourself quivering or feel your palms sweating, think, "I am excited" instead of "I am afraid."
Seek out new friends. Ask a coworker out for drinks, or sit with someone new in the lunchroom. If you push yourself to form a new social circle, this provides you with more opportunities to have something to look forward to. You'll get invited to more parties and social events, providing you with a richer social life. If you're shy by nature, try to keep in mind most people are fairly friendly. Many people wish they could socialize with co-workers more, but have the same reservations about interacting with new people you may have. Do not take a "No" personally. People do get busy. If a co-worker turns down your invitation, this does not me that person does not like you. You can always try to ask again in a few weeks.
Order something new. Do you go to the same restaurants and order the same meals every weekend? If you’re stuck in a restaurant rut, either try a new place or pick something completely different off the menu. If you make most of your meals at home, try buying something new or unfamiliar at the grocery store and adding it to your next meal. Having a new food to try can give you something to look forward to during your day. If you grow bored at work, for example, think about the new chili recipe you'll be trying out tonight.
Treat yourself spontaneously. Many people are strict with themselves when it comes to rewards or surprises. You may, for example, only eat out once a week or only shop for new clothes once a month. While it's good to have some kind of budget or plan, allow yourself as spontaneous treat once in awhile. If you see a donut at your office cafeteria that you're really craving, allow yourself to indulge just this once.
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